she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there was a trapeze. enough said
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry about my life...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize