I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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