is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
