'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
