How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
ttyl tear gas
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
