i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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