The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my shit smells like andre
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
