If i come over, it means nothing
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
