True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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