Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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