just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
