I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
