I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
