the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Watching her eat just hurts me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
