In America we eat man semen.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
