brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
