i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
