Nicole vs. Life
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
