We won't sleep together?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
