giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
