Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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