my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So vagazzling was a success
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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