OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
