Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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