she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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