my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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