Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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