I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How's work?
Spinning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
