i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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