let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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