Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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