i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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