thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize