I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But theres a keg here and me gusta
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
