garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Randomize
