What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
