hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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