You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
