I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
