Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
