I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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