sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
