the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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