Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
