Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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