he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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