So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
