I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
