I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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