This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
