I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
well you can't waste a boner
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
