My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it hurts more in the daytime
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
