she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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