u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
