Having a random hookup so left but love u
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
