I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
