I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
