meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
