"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
