Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
