K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
