i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
