i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
