Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
