Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
