you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
