yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
