I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
