So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
