In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
